The Histrionic Parent

Parenting is hard in these modern times. We have so much more to worry about than we did 50 years, 30 years, even 15 years ago with the invention of social media, the increase of drug usage, and human trafficking. Not to mention the rise in public mass shootings such as Columbine and the Amish school shooting. We also have the increased diagnosis of ADD, ADHD, and Autism that is more and more common among our children. I for one have an Autistic child and it is very hard as a parent to deal with these things on top of the therapy I am receiving for my own inner demons. Histrionic patients often receive their histrionic traits that they have learned from a HPD caregiver. Not only is it believed to be a possibly physically disorder, but also a learned pattern of behavior, which I think is the most important. So there you end up with a catch 22 in the sense that if the pattern of behavior is not controlled, then the possibility of the child(ren) learning this type of behavior is increased greatly. I have already seen the sense of entitlement in my own children, in which I am trying to discourage and try to tame my own behaviors in front of them and be more discipline like to ensure that everything is not their way. The one problem with histrionic parents is that they have a difficult time setting boundaries with their children because we have a difficult setting boundaries for ourselves. Everyone needs boundaries. Laws are boundaries. The commandments are boundaries. Marriage vows are boundaries. We have boundaries in all aspects of life. Without boundaries life is chaotic, which is what histrionics are known for.  Histrionic parents are also somewhat known for leaving children behind or not developing a healthy relationship with the child, causing more psychological issues down the road.  I think that the most disheartening thing about HPD parents, is that most are in denial  or will never get help, which will continue the vicious cycle. We all love our children, I am sure. However, not just the physical needs need to be met. A child’s mental growth is just as important as it was yours. Somehow along the way you have learned a pattern of behavior that gave you the desired results and you have continued this behavior into adulthood. The fact is that you can achieve this desired effect without causing emotional harm to your children and your family. Seeking support and therapy is the most important thing you can do for yourself and your family. Key things to look out for in your children that may make you step back and analyze your own behavioral pattern is:

A sense of entitlement. It’s all about me attitude. I want that toy and you will get it. I deserve that item. This is a bad sign. Number 1, no one is entitled to anything. Not even another day on this earth. We must realize that even as adults. We don’t always get what we want and no matter how hard that is, it is a part of being human.

Destruction of property. Being grateful for the things you have is something that it taught to many of us. If children show no regards to their stuff, then again that goes back to the whole entitlement feeling.

Showing seductive traits. Of course no one wants to think of their child being “seductive”. However, being in the medical field and working with children, I have seen children who act much older than they are. We are seeing more and more children and when I say children I am speaking of anyone under the age of consent, who are posting sexually seductive photos, especially now sense sexting is very popular among kids.

{I googled Toddlers and Tiaras and these images popped up. WOW. }

Of course, if you are a HPD parent, then you would be aware of the traits hopefully enough to head off any trouble before it starts. Just as one would not want their child to continue an addiction of drugs or alcohol or follow in the footsteps of a negative life, then we should strive to break the cycle and be more aware of our behaviors and interactions with our children. Until then peace be with you.

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